Posts Tagged ‘women 40+’
It is difficult these days not to see Elizabeth Edwards when we turn on the television. The interviewer is reading an excerpt from her book “Resilience” with that tone of voice reserved for the sick person in hospital, asking gently worded questions and providing the viewer with a soapy interview.
I know she is the victim of an extra marital affair and I know that she is ill with breast cancer. I cannot nor do not judge how she handles these things. In these matters my affiliation is firmly with the ‘what goes on behind closed doors’ party.
What is perturbing is why she supported and campaigned for John Edwards to be President of the United States after he told her about the affair. Why, in spite of this knowledge did she sally forth, endorsing her husband as the right man for the job. Why did she cast herself as the loyal wife in the tableau of the wholesome American family?
By making the decision to submit herself and her family to this renewed public scrutiny, she should be accountable for that period in time. As Roger Simons asks in his article “Did Elizabeth Edwards want to get into the White House as badly as John Edwards did?”
I counter that with this question “Is Elizabeth Edwards again using the American public this time to garner book sales?”
Caryl Rivers in her Huffington Post article writes that she should be allowed to tell her story, to “have her say”. Funny that she has so much to say now but the truth was oddly silent during the ’08 Presidential campaign.
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There are positive things about midlife. Goals and life priorities are clearer. Never a people pleasing, cannot say no kind of woman, I now care even less what some people think about me. I no longer worry about dust bunnies, the dogs muddy paws and how the towels are folded. I concentrate on the people and things in my life that are important to me and let all the rest go with a shrug of my shoulders.
Time has also made me a more relaxed cook and that has actually improved the meals coming out of the kitchen. I do pre-plan and shop a week ahead of time. A habit that is economically sound and allows me to make sure that I am preparing well balanced meals, especially with a diabetic beloved.
Some nights though a meal is two parts non-fuzzy things from the frig, one part what is left in the vegetable basket, combined with 1 1/2 cups of a non-descriptive rice or pasta from the cupboard. These meals are usually really tasty and it amuses me when Chris says “We should have that again”.
When I have finished writing this post I am off to the Saturday Farmers Market, where I will pick up some fresh baking. Because while I may love home baked cookies, I also know that I don’t need to be the person measuring out the flour & chocolate chips in order to have some.
My new website is up and running, when you arrive at the main portal or home page you will see that we are now:
- Jill Crossland Coaching
- TimeFinders Magazine
- Create Your Team
- Fabulously Over 40
There will be more new & exciting things to come in 2009.
In TimeFinders Magazine, I want to attract advertisers who are compatible with the content. I am looking for wine, chocolate or luxuary food companies, magazines such as More Magazine, travel agencies that book great trips for women, and beauty products for women over 35. I would like to include more women’s stories plus writers from the US and over seas. The area that is Fabulously Over 40, will be expanded to include other social media outlets such as FaceBook. There will be podcasting in the coaching area.
So many plans, so little time!
- Your comments or suggestions
- About advertising in TimeFinders Magazine
- If you would like to write for us
- To inquire about joining the group of professional women on Create Your Team
There is nothing like travel to provide fodder for my observations on life. It easily starts with the fascinating people at the airport. I know that nowadays comfort is key but to that couple in the grey sweats and over sized tee shirts from some local restaurant did you suddenly decide to go on vacation on the way to clearing out the basement? And don’t even get me started on a few folks wearing PJ bottoms, I know it was an early flight but!
When we are away husband & I try to satisfy our $30- on the slot machines gambling problem in some anonymous town somewhere. While the advertising for casinos always shows happy, glamorous people in reality everyone looks serious and slightly desperate. While leaving a hotel casino $45 poorer I also noticed that no matter what province or state the red stained carpets are identical; is there a ‘Casino Carpet R Us’ that they all use?
By far though restaurants are the best places for people watching. During a leisurely lunch of perfectly chilled Chablis and a really tasty piece of salmon, I was aware of how the women were appraising each other in a manner that was reminiscent of those high school cafeteria days, only now the cheerleader, shy girl and track & field star is all grown up.
Over by the window is popular girl who has married into the country club/tennis set. She has the sweater tied around her shoulders, Hermes bag and is sporting some very expensive jewelry. In the corner with numerous family members is the cookie baking, loves her role as a grandmother type – not sure who she was in high school. Probably did well in home economics which is a class I hated. She is actually wearing her sweater, it has some sort of motif on it and she is finished off with comfortable stretchy pants. Sipping tea & honey is the forever young, still diggin’ it, 60′s love child embracing the long flowing skirt, silver & turquoise jewelry and her grey locks haven’t seen a hairdresser since 1984. We all silently but collectively hate track & field girl because she is into cycling now and is buff and tanned. She has just walked in with a man who looks like Richard Gere, so no one even cares about what she is wearing.
Who am I in the room? I was quiet library girl, now Life Coach on holiday with eclectic taste in clothes. I am wearing the J Crew chino pants, a v-neck black top that fits me in all the right places, an art deco necklace, gold earrings and leather loafers (in an eye catching shade of light green) that are comfortable and stylish. I also never go anywhere without half of my office and a good book so handbags are not really feasible which is why I own an assortment of tote bags. This trip it was Eddie Bauer’s canvas & leather tote.
Whatever one’s individual look may be the truly great thing about being over forty is that we can be whomever we want to be. However I don’t think that I’ll be wearing my favorite sleepshirt to the airport anytime soon.
On Jan 4th I wrote a post on my favorite and not so favorite things of ’07 and Elizabeth Gilbert’s “eat. pray, love” got a mention on both lists.
Pro: “I do like her sense of humor and she is honest about herself.”
Con: “Am I the only woman who finds Elizabeth Gilbert somewhat whiny and self-absorbed? I’ve been divorced and traveled alone without all that sobbing and need to please.”
Well, upon more thought the pro statement is a bit insipid and as for the con I seem to be holding back maybe because she had been Oprahized! Time has however revealed that I am not alone in my less than glowing review of her book and I not going to be asked to leave the midlife sisterhood….Whew!
Here is a link to one article in particular “Pray tell: Is Elizabeth Gilbert self-absorbed or truth seeker?” by Carol Memmott USA Today. There are also some interesting comments attached.
Why is this capturing our attention? Probably because it speaks to something larger. It makes us look at how we feel and who we are as women over 40. We are examining where we have been, where we are now and more importantly where we want the road to take us for the next 40 years.
I haven’t finished the book yet, which in itself tells me something because when I love a book I devour it quickly! So far there are two things I know for sure. One, like many of you out there I have a version of being on the bathroom floor. For me I sunk to the floor in my kitchen and it was many years ago. But it happened one time and then I stood up and said “You’ve made some mistakes Jill, rectify them and move forward.” Two, I cannot cling to things or people when it is over because it is over – move on. OK, there is a third thing – that while some of Richards advice is sound, to allow someone to continually refer to you as “Groceries” goes beyond cute, occasional nickname into the realm of complete lack of self-respect and (or) no ability to set healthy boundaries with people.
I hope to hear your thoughts and I promise that I will finish the book ASAP. Perhaps the ‘love’ part in Bali will bring it together for me or maybe not!
I read mainly American publications as in More Magazine because they “celebrate women over 40″, Oprah magazine because in spite of the title it is not all about her and has some good articles. I will browse through the odd Vogue; what better way to spend valuable spare time than by looking at couture clothes that I cannot afford? My list is rounded out by Marie Claire because they have some top rate stories on the plight of girls and women around the world.
I often wonder why Canada doesn’t have similar magazines for women. I use to read Chatelaine because it kept me in touch with what Canadian women were thinking and doing but I have let my subscription lapse as during the past 18 months it seems so adrift with no handle on target audience, content or even the artistic layout. What was with all the food covers? It looks like Canadian Living.
I guess the Canadian print medias’ inability to appeal to a female readership, who want more than recipes and cleaning tips indicates that a quality publication for women over forty is definitely not in the works.