Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

The true test of an actors life is where in the newspaper they are featured after their death. Most get an article with their career highlights on the entertainment pages but a rare few get their life reviewed in the news section. Paul Newman’s passing and his accomplishments are in just that prominent place.

He is portrayed as a man who kept his private life private. He appeared in some memorable movies and some not so memorable. However, it is probably his philanthropic legacy that propels him to the front pages. Newmans Own is an outstanding foundation and as the person behind over $250 million in donations Paul Newman’s legacy is remarkable . As is fifty years of marriage. In these days of self-absorbed, snivelling actors it is good to remember that for one man acting was only part of who he was.

A few days later another outstanding person lost their life but the events couldn’t be more different. Her name was Malalai Kakar, actually  she was Lieutenant-Colonel Malalai Kakar. And she did not pass quietly into the night surrounded by family, she was murdered.

As a senior police officer Malalai Kakar was the head of the city of Kandahar’s department for spousal abuse and crimes against women. This woman who represented & defended women’s rights in Afghanistan was struck down by a single bullet to the head.

The best way that I can honour her is by not linking you to the news stories about her death instead here is the link to Maire Claire’s article on her life.

There is nothing like travel to provide fodder for my observations on life. It easily starts with the fascinating people at the airport. I know that nowadays comfort is key but to that couple in the grey sweats and over sized tee shirts from some local restaurant did you suddenly decide to go on vacation on the way to clearing out the basement? And don’t even get me started on a few folks wearing PJ bottoms, I know it was an early flight but!

When we are away husband & I try to satisfy our $30- on the slot machines gambling problem in some anonymous town somewhere. While the advertising for casinos always shows happy, glamorous people in reality everyone looks serious and slightly desperate. While leaving a hotel casino $45 poorer I also noticed that no matter what province or state the red stained carpets are identical; is there a ‘Casino Carpet R Us’ that they all use?

By far though restaurants are the best places for people watching. During a leisurely lunch of perfectly chilled Chablis and a really tasty piece of salmon, I was aware of how the women were appraising each other in a manner that was reminiscent of those high school cafeteria days, only now the cheerleader, shy girl and track & field star is all grown up.

Over by the window is popular girl who has married into the country club/tennis set. She has the sweater tied around her shoulders, Hermes bag and is sporting some very expensive jewelry. In the corner with numerous family members is the cookie baking, loves her role as a grandmother type – not sure who she was in high school. Probably did well in home economics which is a class I hated. She is actually wearing her sweater, it has some sort of motif on it and she is finished off with comfortable stretchy pants. Sipping tea & honey is the forever young, still diggin’ it, 60′s love child embracing the long flowing skirt, silver & turquoise jewelry and her grey locks haven’t seen a hairdresser since 1984. We all silently but collectively hate track & field girl because she is into cycling now and is buff and tanned. She has just walked in with a man who looks like Richard Gere, so no one even cares about what she is wearing.

Who am I in the room? I was quiet library girl, now Life Coach on holiday with eclectic taste in clothes. I am wearing the J Crew chino pants, a v-neck black top that fits me in all the right places, an art deco necklace, gold earrings and leather loafers (in an eye catching shade of light green) that are  comfortable and stylish. I also never go anywhere without half of my office and a good book so handbags are not really feasible which is why I own an assortment of tote bags. This trip it was Eddie Bauer’s canvas & leather tote.

Whatever one’s individual look may be the truly great thing about being over forty is that we can be whomever we want to be. However I don’t think that I’ll be wearing my favorite sleepshirt to the airport anytime soon.

Overall I throughly enjoyed the book. It was a little offputting sometimes as she goes back and forth in order to cover a multitude of people and events. While not as well written in as one might have expected, the pages do pull you into their singularly quirky flow especially when you realize that she writes in the same style as she speaks. The reader is taken behnd the scenes of her life and a litany of events that are fascinating and relevant. Then, suddenly on page 391 (hardcover edition) she writes ‘I think that is enough about my personal life’ and firmly shuts the door. It’s not as though we are voyeurs as it was Ms. Walters herself who invited us in. Up to that point her words had been candid and sincere as she interwove her complicated personal and professional life with the headlines that made up the fabric of her remarkable career.

What is written after that statement reads more like a series of essays, albeit interesting essays but very structured never the less. Even the chapter titles become terse. I finished the book but was less enthusiastic; I felt perplexed as though the most interesting guest had abruptly left my dinner party just as we were about to have dessert and coffee.

For readers who have an interest in the stories behind ‘the story’ this is the memoir for you. And for any female who wants to know more about this media icon “Audition” is well worth your time.

The 2008 US presidential election is the first one of the 21st century. As such it seems to have one foot in the same old rhetoric while the other one is in a social networking site where you too can be a friend of the candidate along with some 529,324 other people. Even the media seems to be just as unsure of it’s position; this probably comes from trying to cater to one generation via the internet, another through print, then there are those TV viewers. But I digress, one minute someone is commenting that ‘we have heard this before’, next a speech is condemned as being overly new age and therefore out of touch with the working people.

Seemingly stuck in the middle of all this redefining of politics for the new century is the 44 year old, Michelle Obama. She is an attractive, well educated and self-confident woman. As a mother she is trying to give her two young daughters some semblance of normalcy in the midst of the political mayhem. The ‘problem’ appears to be that Michelle is also very articulate with a mind of her own. Instead of criticizing her maybe it is time for the realization that the ‘First Spouse’ of this new century needs to have just those qualities.

I couldn’t help but notice what a strong and varied representation the female gender had on the non-fiction side of the New York Times Bestsellers list on Sunday. A cross section of very different women, at different points in time and with very different lives.

At #1 we have “Audition” by Barbara Walters. I have just started that book and am so far I am enjoying every page. Number 2 is Julie Andrew’s “Home” which proves that there is a lot more to her life and career than Mary Poppins.

The list goes on to include “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” by Chelsea Handler. I don’t know much about that one except that it is a humerous look at her life. Former President, Jimmy Carter writes a tribute to his mother, Lillian in “A Remarkable Mother”.

Cokie Roberts tackles some American founding mothers including Abigail Adams, Margaret Bayard Smith, Martha Jefferson, Elizabeth Monroe, Louisa Catherine Adams, Eliza Hamilton, Theodosia Burr, women who help to shape America’s history in “Ladies of Liberty”. Then, at #10 recent headlines are all too real for Carolyn Jessop, she tells her story of life in a polygamist sect in “Escape”.

All I have to say is move over Elizabeth Gilbert there are new women in town. They are not running to other countries to find themselves, they are all about how to stand and face life head on.

In the May edition of Chatelaine magazine they have five readers speaking out ‘on the issues and themselves’. As it is doubtful that they will ever get to asking moi, I thought I would answer the same questions anyway.

Describe yourself: Entrepreneur, independent, open minded, kind and intelligent. Loves: My pets, movies, travel, my laptop, good food & wine. Hates: Cruelty, rudeness, unkindness, indifference and prejudice. Guilty pleasure: Curling up with a book or magazine, some chocolate and a cup of tea. Biggest issue facing Canadian women: Making sure we have a voice in the government so that we can be part of the decision making around such issues as the environment, retirement, health care, child care and wages.

I recommend writing your own profile but I warn you it may take a bit longer than you think.

First, let me say I admire what you have accomplished, I really do. Recently though it seems that you want to save the world. You take us to task on our soul’s, our cluttered homes, our colons and even our comfortable grey sweats (I’m maybe ok there, I wear yoga pants in my off duty hours) and now a reality show?

I also wondered if you had noticed that you often talk over your guests and don’t let them finish their sentences? You really don’t need to Oprahize everything, your show used to be a platform for new thoughts and forms of expression. I expect to read in the newspaper one morning that you have started your own small country.

And I am going to say it if no one else will, the continuous ‘money cannot buy happiness’ from a perfectly groomed billionaire (and I am loving the hair this year) with the expensive outfit is wearing just a little thin. At forty/fifty something we get it; we are now wise enough to know that money can provide opportunity if managed wisely. Perhaps if we too were able to wake up in a beautiful (uncluttered) bedroom without the ‘living in the real world’ worry of stretching our resources as far as possible, we would be able to sagely nod our perfectly styled heads while analyzing the potential spiritual pitfalls of wealth.

I realize that I don’t have to watch your show but I keep hoping that you will return to what you do best. By the way, did you read in the business section that Starbucks, has realized that they have gotten too far from their roots and now have gone back to perfecting the art of preparing a good cup of espresso?

Here are a couple more points of view on Lady O.

“Dear Oprah Winfrey, Please Cut Me Some Slack ” from The Best Kept Secret Blog

“Guess I’m a Shlumpadinka………..so what” from the MidLife Maze Blog

Least Favorite from ’07

1. Media obsession with silly, spoilt girls called Paris, Brittany, Lindsey. There are so many women out there who are actually making a difference in the world it is a shame there was no room left to write about them.

2. “eat, pray, love” - Am I the only woman who finds Elizabeth Gilbert somewhat whiny and self-absorbed? I’ve been divorced and traveled alone without all that sobbing and need to please.

3. Screw caps on good wine – I miss the sense of ritual when there is no cork to pull out of a bottle of wine. It speaks to the need for a quiet moment in a busy day. Such as the time we take to make a pot of tea or to grind coffee beans for a really good cup of coffee.

Favorites

1. Web 2.0 – I like the new networking opportunities that websites such as Facebook provide. If used properly & carefully they are a good way to connect with new people and re-connect with former acquaintances.

2. An old friend returns – There is another side to the tech loving me and that is the part of me that needs Austen, Bronte, Thackeray, Masterpiece Theater and all things from a different time in history . So I was pleased when I found Victoria Magazine back on the newsstands this November. Visit their website: Victoriamag.com

3. “eat, pray, love” – I do like her sense of humor and she is honest about herself.

4. Al Gore: He put the issues surrounding global warming out there in such a way that it can no longer be ignored on any level from governments to the person in the street.

5. Hillary Clinton - My coaching advice (I think all political campaigns could use a common sense life coach on staff). You didn’t win the Iowa Caucus but don’t counter with a negative campaign instead challenge the platforms of your opponents, put them in the position where they must be more specific about their campaign promises. You have done well positioning yourself within your roles now do the same by presenting a clear picture of your professional background and experiences.

6. Shopping:

Amazon – Their used books are well priced and good quality

Victoria’s Secret - Cotton panties 5@$25-. Wish that they hadn’t decided to make the waist band narrower however.

Starbucks – Starting to collect their mugs, they should sell them in sets for a reasonable(!) price

Candles – I love the growing availability of healthy candles made of soy or beeswax.

7. More Magazine – It continues to present articles, fashion, travel, everything with the 40+ woman in mind.