Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

There are positive things about midlife. Goals and life priorities are clearer. Never a people pleasing, cannot say no kind of woman, I now care even less what some people think about me.  I no longer worry about dust bunnies, the dogs muddy paws and how the towels are folded. I concentrate on the people and things in my life that are important to me and let all the rest go with a shrug of my shoulders.

Time has also made me a more relaxed cook and that has actually improved the meals coming out of the kitchen. I do pre-plan and shop a week ahead of time. A habit that is economically sound and allows me to make sure that I am preparing well balanced meals, especially with a diabetic beloved.

Some nights though a meal is two parts non-fuzzy things from the frig, one part what is left in the vegetable basket, combined with 1 1/2 cups of a non-descriptive rice or pasta from the cupboard. These meals are usually really tasty and it amuses me when  Chris says “We should have that again”.

When I have finished writing this post I am off to the Saturday Farmers Market, where I will pick up some fresh baking. Because while I may love home baked cookies, I also know that I don’t need to be the person measuring out the flour & chocolate chips in order to have some.

The time has come for change and to me Barack and Michelle Obama embody the 21st century’s Renaissance.  It is the natural order of the world that the days of baby boomer diplomacy and leadership are starting to come to an end. Some have said that President Obama is too cool, quips too much and is not reassuring enough. Actually his manner is saying that a head of state being a comforting and cardiganed Mr. Rogers type of leader or as seen more recently the secretive and John Wayne type is not only outdated but ineffectual.

This next generation of leaders has a technology enhanced worldview, logical pattern of thought and unemotional approach to the issues. Qualities that will enable them to clean out the dust and cobwebs of where we have failed and to modernize what is no longer working.

Barack and Michelle Obama are taking the world stage with their trademark quick intellect and unruffled elegance that make them stand out amongst their somewhat tired & frazzled counterparts.

Even Queen Elizabeth, who has been welcoming US presidents since Harry Truman, appeared warm and relaxed at the first meeting. When Michelle embraced the royal presence, instead of  roaring ‘off with her head’ she smiled, briefly reciprocated and apparently suggested that they “keep in touch”.

On a similar trip taken in 1961, John Kennedy said “I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it.” I think that at the end of this trip President Obama’s statement would be “I and Michelle have enjoyed our time here and I am glad that you like and admire my wife and partner as much as I do.”

The Obama’s day ended with a dinner at 10 Downing Street. this apparantly takes the form of the leaders in one dining room and the spouses in the other. I wonder if this is a throw back to Victorian society when the hostess said ‘Shall we leave the gentlemen to their cigars and port, ladies and go into the drawing room for tea” or merely protocol?  Whatever the reasoning I would have loved to heard what was being said at both dinner tables as they dined on Jamie Olivier’s menu of organic salmon and shoulder of lamb from Wales.

It is -24 (did you notice the minus sign?) and 11:10am in Alberta; time to stop work and take a break. Stepping out of my office and into the living room I notice a power struggle for a prime piece of real estate, namely a slim section of the floor where the sun is warming the hardwood. There are two dogs and three cats all jockeying for their own little spot.

I step over this pile so that I can I turn on The View and catch a few minutes of the banter while the coffee is brewing. This is interesting the show is live from the Walt Disney studios and content is coming across like a Disney infomercial. Guess we know who is signing the paychecks.

What to have with my coffee? Now I pride myself on getting through menopause without HRT or any pharmaceuticals but wonder how successful I am as I take a good look in the frig.  There is a large bar of Cadburys’ Burnt Almond Dark, a bag of snack size Coffee Crisps, a box of European wafer cookies covered with chocolate and  perched on top of beloved’s box of insulin sits a tube of Droste’s extra dark chocolate pastilles. I think I need a support group.

The coffee is ready and I have cabin fever, as there is no trip to Figi in my immediate future and a client call in twenty minutes, I turn off what used to be The View, pour some coffee, break off several pieces from the burnt almond bar and open a copy of March Vogue.  What better way to cheer myself up than by looking at haute couture clothes that I cannot afford?

Today, I am a guest on the Jungle Red Writers blog. Come for a visit and meet the five fascinating female mystery writers that started it all.

I really cannot add anymore other than to share their welcome with you:

“Welcome to Jungle Red, a salon of five mystery writers. Here, it’s all about writing. And not writing. And our search for motive in life, love, fiction and reality. Fans of classic films may recognize the name Jungle Red as a tip of the hat to Clare Booth Luce’s The Women. Like that eclectic group—we go through our highs and lows, fun and feuds with just an occasional unsheathing of our Jungle Red nails. Join us as we discuss (and occasionally diss) the world of reading, writing and publishing. All you need is an appreciation for a thoughtful turn of a phrase, admiration for a clever twist in a plot—and a sense of humor.”

I have always been a person without borders; whether in my coaching, writing or blogging I believe that we are citizens of the world. So, from Canada I congratulate Barack Obama on becoming the 44th President of the United States.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Martin Luther King, Jr

On November 4th, 2008 this dream came to be

It has been a fascinating year for politics, especially for women. From the coverage of the hands on presence of candidate’s wives, to the political expertise & pantsuits of Palin and Clinton; no matter what her role the American female puts herself out there even if it means becoming a source of ratings for Saturday Night Live.

Through the years the First Ladies have often been marginalized by the press and that includes their causes until history & time validates their efforts. After 9/11 Laura Bush turned the tables and used the media to increase her presence in order to help heal a wounded nation. She has become a voice on the international stage speaking out for Afghanistan to bring focus to the challenges facing the people, particularly the women and children. This year she surprised many by supporting Burma as it struggles to be free of a regime’s tyranny.  It will be interesting to witness the historical imprint that Michelle Obama will make on the White House and the multi-dimensional position of first lady.

Here in Canada headlines are reading very differently. As illustrated with Julie Smyth’s article in the October 15th edition of  the National Post, entitled “Leaders spouses stay out of the spotlight”. Chatelaine’s December edition offers “Why Politics is Still a Man’s Job” by Rebecca Caldwell and the Editor, Maryam Sanati writes in her monthly letter “On the world list of female representation in politics Canada is 50 spots behind Rwanda”.

Candidate’s wives in Canada need to do more. They can speak to and meet with the people in smaller venues and in particular listen to the women. Instead of merely being a prop for the smile and wave photo ops, they can be a functioning presence on the campaign trail; gaining insight into the grassroots issues through discussions that their husbands are unable to have. If she chooses, the Prime Minister’s wife, Laureen Harper is in a truly enviable position to make a difference. She seems like an empathic and intelligent woman but we only get glimpses of her emerging from 24 Sussex Drive to attend some obligatory charity event. While giving one’s name & presence to a cause is important it is only touches on what she could accomplish.

No matter how we chose to participate it is time for Canadian women on all levels to not only bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan but also have a say in how it should be raised, slaughtered, delivered to the store and priced. It is time to stop being on the sidelines.

We have all met a version of Sarah Palin, those people who get through life on the ‘I’m attractive, charming and smart enough to absorb just as much as I need to impress’ plan.

They play each hand carefully like a high stakes poker game but when you actually need an all out team effort their lack of substance and depth of knowledge becomes apparent.

Her verbal pandering to a specific demographic smacks of reverse elitism and last time I checked America was made up of an eclectic population of which the Wall Mart mom and Joe Six pack is only a portion. Also, your guile just won’t cut it in the international arena and that my dear Ms. Palin as your handlers are probably trying to tell you is an integral part of a vice-president’s role.

Using the right people to forward one’s agenda was well illustrated when she asked Elisabeth Hasselbeck to introduce her at several events this past weekend. While Elisabeth was “honored” all I could think was how better to have a positive if somewhat gushing presence on The View without actually sitting down at the table.

Sarah Palin may even believe that she has a chance at a future presidency. I for one would pay to see her debate Hillary Clinton. As with most people who are ultimately sef-serving Palin will do very little for the greater good and that includes issues like the environment & the rights of women. It is unfortunate that the spotlight is no longer on the woman who is by far the more qualified.

The true test of an actors life is where in the newspaper they are featured after their death. Most get an article with their career highlights on the entertainment pages but a rare few get their life reviewed in the news section. Paul Newman’s passing and his accomplishments are in just that prominent place.

He is portrayed as a man who kept his private life private. He appeared in some memorable movies and some not so memorable. However, it is probably his philanthropic legacy that propels him to the front pages. Newmans Own is an outstanding foundation and as the person behind over $250 million in donations Paul Newman’s legacy is remarkable . As is fifty years of marriage. In these days of self-absorbed, snivelling actors it is good to remember that for one man acting was only part of who he was.

A few days later another outstanding person lost their life but the events couldn’t be more different. Her name was Malalai Kakar, actually  she was Lieutenant-Colonel Malalai Kakar. And she did not pass quietly into the night surrounded by family, she was murdered.

As a senior police officer Malalai Kakar was the head of the city of Kandahar’s department for spousal abuse and crimes against women. This woman who represented & defended women’s rights in Afghanistan was struck down by a single bullet to the head.

The best way that I can honour her is by not linking you to the news stories about her death instead here is the link to Maire Claire’s article on her life.

There is nothing like travel to provide fodder for my observations on life. It easily starts with the fascinating people at the airport. I know that nowadays comfort is key but to that couple in the grey sweats and over sized tee shirts from some local restaurant did you suddenly decide to go on vacation on the way to clearing out the basement? And don’t even get me started on a few folks wearing PJ bottoms, I know it was an early flight but!

When we are away husband & I try to satisfy our $30- on the slot machines gambling problem in some anonymous town somewhere. While the advertising for casinos always shows happy, glamorous people in reality everyone looks serious and slightly desperate. While leaving a hotel casino $45 poorer I also noticed that no matter what province or state the red stained carpets are identical; is there a ‘Casino Carpet R Us’ that they all use?

By far though restaurants are the best places for people watching. During a leisurely lunch of perfectly chilled Chablis and a really tasty piece of salmon, I was aware of how the women were appraising each other in a manner that was reminiscent of those high school cafeteria days, only now the cheerleader, shy girl and track & field star is all grown up.

Over by the window is popular girl who has married into the country club/tennis set. She has the sweater tied around her shoulders, Hermes bag and is sporting some very expensive jewelry. In the corner with numerous family members is the cookie baking, loves her role as a grandmother type – not sure who she was in high school. Probably did well in home economics which is a class I hated. She is actually wearing her sweater, it has some sort of motif on it and she is finished off with comfortable stretchy pants. Sipping tea & honey is the forever young, still diggin’ it, 60’s love child embracing the long flowing skirt, silver & turquoise jewelry and her grey locks haven’t seen a hairdresser since 1984. We all silently but collectively hate track & field girl because she is into cycling now and is buff and tanned. She has just walked in with a man who looks like Richard Gere, so no one even cares about what she is wearing.

Who am I in the room? I was quiet library girl, now Life Coach on holiday with eclectic taste in clothes. I am wearing the J Crew chino pants, a v-neck black top that fits me in all the right places, an art deco necklace, gold earrings and leather loafers (in an eye catching shade of light green) that are  comfortable and stylish. I also never go anywhere without half of my office and a good book so handbags are not really feasible which is why I own an assortment of tote bags. This trip it was Eddie Bauer’s canvas & leather tote.

Whatever one’s individual look may be the truly great thing about being over forty is that we can be whomever we want to be. However I don’t think that I’ll be wearing my favorite sleepshirt to the airport anytime soon.