Some of us enjoy being by ourselves and don’t feel lonely nor are we in a state of inertia. We are of a personality type that need quiet time to de-stress and decompress. Which logically means being healthier.

Humans need peace and quiet so that creativity, problem solving and even healing can take place. I recently spoke with a client who had suffered a great loss; she admitted that what was wearing her out at this point was not the bereavement but the lack of time to herself. As well meaning friends and family kept calling and dropping by, she was trapped in a place of their need to comfort her.  

Today’s society is over stimulated; requiring constant connection with something or someone. We are also passing this onto the next generation. In truth when we do embark on a friendship or relationship its growth and richness is nurtured by the fact that the individuals involved are self-sufficient, self-reliant and capable of autonomous thought. 

I was thinking this morning while alone in the shower that we are fortunate Mozart didn’t spend all his time in coffee houses with his BFFs or Virginia Woolf wasn’t busy dazzling her followers on Twitter or she may never have written A Room of One’s Own which ironically is based on the premise that ‘A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction’ .

My inspiration to write this post came from:  I’m denying your friend request by Marni Soupcoff, National Post

A New Risk Factor: Your Social Life by Tara Parker-Pope, The New York Times

With Your Biscotti & Coffee

1) Two Summer Movies for grown-ups 

Hidden among Despicable Me and The Twilight Sage:Eclipse are two cinema gems that you may have overlooked. Both are worthy of a stolen afternoon in a cool movie theatre and some buttered popcorn.    

The Extra Man

The Kids Are Alright

2) Warriors in Pink 

India’s gang of vigilante women are striking fear in the hearts of wrongdoers and earning the grudging respect of officials.

3) High Line Park, NY

From historic railway yards founded in 1930 to a functioning public park, it is a fascinating journey.

© Jill Crossland for Life Deco, 2010. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Brigham Young research, health, high line park, Mozart, New York, personality types, Virginia Woolf, warrriors in pink

Is this slump in sales, partially due to different generational tastes yes, and it is also about lifestyle. Everyday I revel in, utilize and thoroughly enjoy the technology that puts the world at my figure tips. It allows me no limitations to where I can take both my coaching company and online magazine.  However when it comes time to relax I prefer the print media format.

I don’t think we are seeing an end of print media so much as a time of rebirth. “We have a generation that is consuming information in totally different ways” says news anchor Kevin Newman in an interview that talks about his decision to leave his on air news job in order to explore the world of digital media. (Read Crossing digital divide, interview by Karen Mazurkewich)

Time’s Managing Editor Richard Stengel recently announced that ‘For the first time since the magazine’s birth in 1923, we will soon be delivering the entire contents of TIME to paying customers in a radically different way: as a self-contained application that you can download to the iPad. (From Ushering In a New Era)

Even though the competion for readership numbers is no longer about who has the news box on the corner of main and 1st street; the media companies are still choosing to handle the issues in a singularly autonomous fashion. Will the different media apps for devices such as the Blackberry or pay for content on the Internet prove to be the sustaining solution? Of all the articles being written on this subject, James Poniewozik sums up the current situation best in his editorial All the News That’s Fit to Mint

I think tackling the insatiable need for information and news in today’s world with a more united or partnering approach might prove to be the beginning of a solution for the media’s woes; in other words to go where no newspapers have gone before. 

With Your Biscotti & Coffee

1) There was once a time when I would plow through any book, now I have to agree with Sonya Chung the list of books that I haven’t finished has increased. From her column in The Millions blog read Sonya’s post – It’s Not You, It’s Me: Breaking Up With Books.

2) Things are so troubled for the Roman Catholic Church that it is easy to forget that there are some truly heroic nuns and priests doing some remarkable work in the world.  From the NY Times Who Can Mock This Church? by Nicholas D. Kristof

3) Does your dog like to rock to Bono or is your cat more of a jazz fan? If you don’t think that they have a preference check out the world’s first Music fof Dogs concert, article by Amy Coopes.

© Jill Crossland for Life Deco, 2010. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: digital media, iPad, Media, newspapers, Print media, Sonya Chung, time

It only took that 123 character post and the fact that it was a grey and rainy Saturday to leave me with a mantle of sadness; as my mind went back to the August weekend in one of my favorite places, shared with two people that I still miss today. Unlike many writers who like to present themselves as having risen from the dregs of dreadful childhoods, I had a good relationship with my parents. On the surface they may have been stereotypical of the distant English parents; in private they were supportive and loving giving me little fodder for even a mild case of teenage angst.

That evening Chris and I ate pasta, drank wine and caught up on the conversations that we didn’t have time for in the week.  We then watched the movie Defiance. I had originally wanted to rent it because it starred Daniel Craig, who is on my short list of men I would have an affair with but the story proved to be so much more than I expected.

It is a World War II movie that looks at the Holocaust from a unique perspective. Telling the true story of a group of Jews in Eastern Europe who fought back from there home deep in the forest and the Bielski brothers who led them. While not a perfect movie the story itself is remarkable.

Saturday ended with me thinking that the type of person we become is not only the result of the family we are born into but also the time in history. For me is was about being a teenager growing up in the sixties. One thing I realized is that I want to start having the right conversations and asking the pertinent questions. From the hindsight of the person that I am today what talks I would have with my parents!

Relationships must be so much more than mere everyday words. Remember that a really sick friend is not just her disease; part of her still wants to talk about clothes, grumble about her husband and laugh over the funny parts of 30 Rock.  Realizing that a grumpy co-worker or colleague might be troubled by something in her life and responding accordingly. It’s about asking parents and grandparents to share the early years of their lives and seeing how they intertwined with the events of the time.

And ultimately never forgetting that everyone has a story.

© Jill Crossland for Life Deco, 2009. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: My Life, relationships, Twitter, Woodstock

Now while doing this Duke (aging, semi-neurotic chocolate lab) has been following me around. So I switch to the dog’s check list………walked, fed, water changed, toys at the ready and he didn’t look like an unmentionable body fluids where about to erupt from either end. So I stopped rushing and processing for a minute, put my hand on his face and asked him what his problem was. He then quietly leaned into me and let out a small contented sound. All he wanted was a few minutes of attention; to be stroked & loved…. this was a reminder to me that we don’t put love on a to-do list.

In between clients while I am writing or or doing administrative work I usually have a news channel such as the BBC or CNN on. This was the case when the second and  much more sombre occurrence happened this week. I am referring to the death of Neda Agha Soltan. The announcer quietly issues a warning about how disturbing the footage was.  At first I sat unsure of how to process the image that was unfolding before me thousand of miles away. Then I did the only thing that I could do, I stood. Alone and in the middle of my office I stood up in quiet homage to a young woman who would never see another sun rise and then I wept.

© Jill Crossland for Life Deco, 2009. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: chocolate lab, Iran, Neda Agha Soltan

My respect for words leaves me with a dislike for anything that has a whiff of censorship. If you don’t like the words discard the book, leave the theater or change the channel.  It is in that context that I find myself in the surprising position of agreeing with Sarah Palin when she took offense to David Letterman’s recent joke. The content of that part of his monologue  left a bitter taste that even changing the channel didn’t erase. He has apologized and Palin accepted the apology in a 94 word statement in which she even managed to even make mention of the US military. Perhaps a short ‘I accept your apology’ would have been more appropriate and a little less opportunistic or better yet maybe a tweet would be good practice for the always wordy Ms. Palin.

The world of words has changed even in the short period of time since she ran for vice-president. Political protests are being covered in 140 characters, iconic newspapers no longer exist and this summer people will be enjoying there favorite beach book on devices like Kindle.

I had better end this post before I too am overly wordy or as a writer friend of mine emailed me this week while gathering research for an upcoming article ……….sometimes it is better to shut up, stop writing and listen.

© Jill Crossland for Life Deco, 2009. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: David Letterman, Iran, Life, Sarah Palin, social media, Twitter