Archive for the ‘Media’ Category

In between the self-effacing attempts at humour and the ambiguous medical reports is a woman in menopause. I have used humour myself but the truth is, it is not all that funny.  No woman enjoys the  extreme mood swings, muddied thinking, hot flashes, and assorted other symptoms that ebb and flow over a span of years. Not to mention the affect that fluctuating hormones is having on our intimate relationships.

I am not asking for drugs, quite the contrary if you look in my medicine cabinet you would die from boredom.  There is a jar of Vicks, pills for my Afib and some Bufferin.
It is the fact that nine years into the 21st century I would have expected more in the way of unbiased research and possible options.

Hormone therapy has been a roller coaster of benefits vs risks since the ‘60s this all culminated in 2002 with the Women’s Health Initiative study. Controversy continues to swirl around drugs such as Premarin and Prempro not the least of which is how it is obtained from pregnant mares’ urine.

Understandably weary of the whole HT approach of “we’ll get it right, even if we just lower the risks to your overall good health”; women started to look to the bioidentical option that has became part of the menopause fray. Suzanne Somers and Robin McGraw have marketed themselves as part of the next big menopause solution package. This is also equally unnerving.  I mean you are probably lovely ladies (call me we’ll do lunch) but in reality you are just baby boomer women; the difference is you have the money and resources to get books published and garner media hype. However you are not experts in any field.

My concern is that menopause is quickly becoming another money making health condition. Once it reaches that status we the real women of menopause; will never be offered anything more than quick fixes, snake oil scams, self-help fluff and pharmaceutical companies trying to ‘cure’ us. Or are we already there?

The majority of my coaching is done by phone which means that I don’t have to tidy my office or change out of my comfy shoes. So with a client coming over Monday at 9am I had to quickly go through my mental checklist to make sure that I was ready. Coffee pot on, files & books straightened into neat piles, quick dust, clean hand towel & fresh soap in the office bathroom, resources that she had sent me put into her file along with my notes, change shoes ……check.

Now while doing this Duke (aging, semi-neurotic chocolate lab) has been following me around. So I switch to the dog’s check list………walked, fed, water changed, toys at the ready and he didn’t look like an unmentionable body fluids where about to erupt from either end. So I stopped rushing and processing for a minute, put my hand on his face and asked him what his problem was. He then quietly leaned into me and let out a small contented sound. All he wanted was a few minutes of attention; to be stroked & loved…. this was a reminder to me that we don’t put love on a to-do list.

In between clients while I am writing or or doing administrative work I usually have a news channel such as the BBC or CNN on. This was the case when the second and  much more sombre occurrence happened this week. I am referring to the death of Neda Agha Soltan. The announcer quietly issues a warning about how disturbing the footage was.  At first I sat unsure of how to process the image that was unfolding before me thousand of miles away. Then I did the only thing that I could do, I stood. Alone and in the middle of my office I stood up in quiet homage to a young woman who would never see another sun rise and then I wept.

I love words whether written, spoken or sung they have power. They can expand us with knowledge or debilitate us with emotion. The art of communication isn’t in the number of words used, as less wordage & fewer sentences often enables us to process the genuineness of character or content without clutter. Well informed people know that it is best to keep their answers brief and to the point. When you give a confident woman a compliment she merely smiles and says ‘thank-you’.

My respect for words leaves me with a dislike for anything that has a whiff of censorship. If you don’t like the words discard the book, leave the theater or change the channel.  It is in that context that I find myself in the surprising position of agreeing with Sarah Palin when she took offense to David Letterman’s recent joke. The content of that part of his monologue  left a bitter taste that even changing the channel didn’t erase. He has apologized and Palin accepted the apology in a 94 word statement in which she even managed to even make mention of the US military. Perhaps a short ‘I accept your apology’ would have been more appropriate and a little less opportunistic or better yet maybe a tweet would be good practice for the always wordy Ms. Palin.

The world of words has changed even in the short period of time since she ran for vice-president. Political protests are being covered in 140 characters, iconic newspapers no longer exist and this summer people will be enjoying there favorite beach book on devices like Kindle.

I had better end this post before I too am overly wordy or as a writer friend of mine emailed me this week while gathering research for an upcoming article ……….sometimes it is better to shut up, stop writing and listen.

It doesn’t take long to figure out that I am an animal lover. My loving but neurotic lab is a rescue and lying around the house there are five now contented cats who were all strays, each with their own stories of mistreatment.  I too was horrified by the Michael Vick episode, so it may be a surprise when I write that enough is enough.

He has served his 19 months in prison and is currently under house confinement until July 20th. We should then allow him to get on with his life, which in all probability will never be the same over paid, over indulgent, arrogant,  ‘I can do anything I want’  lifestyle that contributed to his decline.

Society imposes punishment so that when time has been served not only has the individual paid the penalty for their deed but (even though it sounds cliche) they have hopefully also learnt something.  Upon release an opportunity to reshape their future should be allowed.

While in prison, apparently Vick met with the president of The Humane Society of the United States and wants to work on a program aimed at eradicating dog fighting among urban teens. Whatever happens in the months to come whether you choose to call it redemption or recovery it will all have to take place on many levels of Michael Vick’s life. The public needs to be careful that it does not over play the role of the self-righteous and unforgiving. We also cannot keep re-trying him in the media.

He may or may not choose to become the face for abolishing pitbull fighting but if we don’t give him some time and space we will never know.

I have recently read a number of articles by women who write that they suddenly feel invisible. They are the ‘beautiful’ women who had a somewhat charmed life; one in which they were accustomed to getting attention and being admired. For the rest of us there were different life lessons. How to walk into a room with confidence, what clothes work, the importance of being self-assured  and that with a handshake, warm smile and eye contact you can connect with anyone. Over the years we didn’t just survive but we thrived and succeeded.

I want to remind those ‘invisible’ women; we are not the generation that ‘goes quietly into the night’.  So shoulders back, head up and find your articulate midlife voice. I am not invisible in stores,  people listen when I speak and last time I was in Starbucks I had a very engaging conversation with a young man when we both reached for the stirsticks at the same time, mind you it was a very good hair day.

It is difficult these days not to see Elizabeth Edwards when we turn on the television. The interviewer is  reading an excerpt from her book “Resilience” with that tone of voice reserved for the sick person in hospital, asking gently worded questions and providing the viewer with a soapy interview.

I know she is the victim of an extra marital affair and I know that she is ill with breast cancer. I cannot nor do not judge how she handles these things. In these matters my affiliation is firmly with the ‘what goes on behind closed doors’ party.

What is perturbing is why she supported and campaigned for John Edwards to be President of the United States after he told her about the affair. Why, in spite of this knowledge did she sally forth, endorsing her husband as the right man for the job. Why did she cast herself as the loyal wife in the tableau of the wholesome American family?

By making the decision to submit herself and her family to this renewed public scrutiny, she should be accountable for that period in time. As Roger Simons asks in his article “Did Elizabeth Edwards want to get into the White House as badly as John Edwards did?”

I counter that with this question “Is Elizabeth Edwards again using the American public this time to garner book sales?”

Caryl Rivers in her Huffington Post article writes that she should be allowed to tell her story, to “have her say”. Funny that she has so much to say now but the truth was oddly silent during the ’08 Presidential campaign.

The time has come for change and to me Barack and Michelle Obama embody the 21st century’s Renaissance.  It is the natural order of the world that the days of baby boomer diplomacy and leadership are starting to come to an end. Some have said that President Obama is too cool, quips too much and is not reassuring enough. Actually his manner is saying that a head of state being a comforting and cardiganed Mr. Rogers type of leader or as seen more recently the secretive and John Wayne type is not only outdated but ineffectual.

This next generation of leaders has a technology enhanced worldview, logical pattern of thought and unemotional approach to the issues. Qualities that will enable them to clean out the dust and cobwebs of where we have failed and to modernize what is no longer working.

Barack and Michelle Obama are taking the world stage with their trademark quick intellect and unruffled elegance that make them stand out amongst their somewhat tired & frazzled counterparts.

Even Queen Elizabeth, who has been welcoming US presidents since Harry Truman, appeared warm and relaxed at the first meeting. When Michelle embraced the royal presence, instead of  roaring ‘off with her head’ she smiled, briefly reciprocated and apparently suggested that they “keep in touch”.

On a similar trip taken in 1961, John Kennedy said “I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it.” I think that at the end of this trip President Obama’s statement would be “I and Michelle have enjoyed our time here and I am glad that you like and admire my wife and partner as much as I do.”

The Obama’s day ended with a dinner at 10 Downing Street. this apparantly takes the form of the leaders in one dining room and the spouses in the other. I wonder if this is a throw back to Victorian society when the hostess said ‘Shall we leave the gentlemen to their cigars and port, ladies and go into the drawing room for tea” or merely protocol?  Whatever the reasoning I would have loved to heard what was being said at both dinner tables as they dined on Jamie Olivier’s menu of organic salmon and shoulder of lamb from Wales.

It is -24 (did you notice the minus sign?) and 11:10am in Alberta; time to stop work and take a break. Stepping out of my office and into the living room I notice a power struggle for a prime piece of real estate, namely a slim section of the floor where the sun is warming the hardwood. There are two dogs and three cats all jockeying for their own little spot.

I step over this pile so that I can I turn on The View and catch a few minutes of the banter while the coffee is brewing. This is interesting the show is live from the Walt Disney studios and content is coming across like a Disney infomercial. Guess we know who is signing the paychecks.

What to have with my coffee? Now I pride myself on getting through menopause without HRT or any pharmaceuticals but wonder how successful I am as I take a good look in the frig.  There is a large bar of Cadburys’ Burnt Almond Dark, a bag of snack size Coffee Crisps, a box of European wafer cookies covered with chocolate and  perched on top of beloved’s box of insulin sits a tube of Droste’s extra dark chocolate pastilles. I think I need a support group.

The coffee is ready and I have cabin fever, as there is no trip to Figi in my immediate future and a client call in twenty minutes, I turn off what used to be The View, pour some coffee, break off several pieces from the burnt almond bar and open a copy of March Vogue.  What better way to cheer myself up than by looking at haute couture clothes that I cannot afford?