Archive for the ‘My Life’ Category
We have made the decision to take a week off in August but not go away. A list of day trips to take, new restaurants to try, movies to see, gives our staycation the facade of a good idea. But I am wondering how will this really play out? It seems inevitable that already some home improvement projects are writing themselves onto the list.
As a Life Coach I have learned how to manage having an office at home. I balance in-office clients with remote coaching by using virtually any available media at my disposal. And I like the added benefit that I can sometimes squeeze in a few minutes of The View’s Hot Topics between morning sessions. Although I will take the usual steps to close my practice for that week I am somewhat leary of the fact that my work will be surrounding me in some form or other.
Then there is a bigger picture, that I don’t particularly care for where we live. I am most myself on a bustling city street or by the ocean and the fact that for now I call a rather rural part of Alberta home is difficult for me at the best of times.
I grew up a city girl; the art of hailing taxis and reading French menus was learned at young age. I know the secret of finding community & friends in your own corner of London, Brussels or Toronto. I thrive in the world of bistros, museums & the theater, city parks at lunch time and knowing when & where the best bargains are in otherwise expensive stores.
Living among all these flat fields feels well, claustrophobic. A vacation should include walks by the sea; that takes me into my own personal nirvana. Therefore the sensible decision to stay home this year is also compounding my personal frustration that by midlife I would be living in a place which truly felt like home.
I know that a better attitude might allow for some modicum of success. Somehow though my psyche and midlife soul are just not feeling this turn of events. I don’t believe that a staycation can offer what a vacation does, I’ll let you know.
Posted in 
In an O magazine article Looking for Stillness author (Riding In Cars With Boys), Beverly Donofrio goes monastery-hopping (her words) and she discovers ‘peace, clarity, connection, grace and a kind of hush’. At the end of the article she returns to the Nada Hermitage in Colorado “Where you can hear your own bare feet on the floor”.
When was the last time you heard your own bare feet on the floor?
If you are anything like me noise is embedded into your life. I get up, turn on the news so that I can hear what has transpired in the world while I slept. Feed excited and hungry dogs/cats, water runs, the coffee pot beeps to let me know when the coffee is ready, the toaster dings, my computer says “Good morning, Jill”, a phone rings and the day is underway.
As the hours progress my heels will click on busy pavement or loafers connect with my office’s hardwood but somehow I missed that moment when my bare feet quietly set my life in motion.
….. a new book from a favourite author
….. the effortless ritual of making tea
….. old, comfy slippers on a cold winters’ morning
….. that bowl of pasta or home made soup when your soul is world weary
We all need those things that are comforting to us; they provide consistency and calmness in what can often be an overly stimulating existence.
Time spent with old friends is one of the ultimates in social comforts. This past weekend we met up with just such friends in Banff to celebrate husband’s birthday. The familiarity of knowing each others lives, the flow of easy conversation and laughter were truly relaxing.
And sometimes comfort is only meant to be with us for a specific interval. Many years ago we bought a house in BC. While my girlfriend and I were sitting outside, taking a break from the pre-move cleaning this rather scruffy, wild looking young black cat emerged from the field behind the house. He was wary but hungry and the only thing that we had with us was water and a box of Ritz crackers. With time the newly named Ritz allowed himself to become a house cat. He grew into a sleek and handsome adult with a sweet and uncomplicated nature. Sadly, 14 years later we have just put this beautiful boy to sleep. Old age, liver problems and a tumour under his neck all caught up with him.
His spirit is again free to roam the fields. However in the evening I miss his restful presence curled up on my lap until I go to bed.
We all occasionally day dream about what life would be like if aunt Bertha (the aunt we never knew we had) passed away and left us a small fortune. My own dream takes the shape of travel, work and learning.
After touring some of the world’s best wineries, a week at a fabulous Spa, the train trip through England, Scotland & Ireland and shopping in Hong Kong; I would move to a town with a really good university and take courses in political science, international relations, women’s studies. While absorbing all this new knowledge I would work on expanding my coaching practice & online magazine because for me that all speaks to a life well lead.
In the meantime until Aunt Berta does pass way I have found some websites that provide online university lectures. I am currently working my way through the ones from the Harvard School of Business.
There are positive things about midlife. Goals and life priorities are clearer. Never a people pleasing, cannot say no kind of woman, I now care even less what some people think about me. I no longer worry about dust bunnies, the dogs muddy paws and how the towels are folded. I concentrate on the people and things in my life that are important to me and let all the rest go with a shrug of my shoulders.
Time has also made me a more relaxed cook and that has actually improved the meals coming out of the kitchen. I do pre-plan and shop a week ahead of time. A habit that is economically sound and allows me to make sure that I am preparing well balanced meals, especially with a diabetic beloved.
Some nights though a meal is two parts non-fuzzy things from the frig, one part what is left in the vegetable basket, combined with 1 1/2 cups of a non-descriptive rice or pasta from the cupboard. These meals are usually really tasty and it amuses me when Chris says “We should have that again”.
When I have finished writing this post I am off to the Saturday Farmers Market, where I will pick up some fresh baking. Because while I may love home baked cookies, I also know that I don’t need to be the person measuring out the flour & chocolate chips in order to have some.
Yes, here it is the moment you have all been waiting for; a photograph of Duke, the neurotic chocolate lab. It is a far from perfect picture (I definitely didn’t photo-shop him in) I had to take it quickly before he realized that in exchange for the dog cookie the camera was going to take a piece of his soul.
My boy is not having the best of months, he was always a thin dog but his weight loss has recently become so severe we have had to subject him to numerous vet visits and medical tests including a somewhat costly ultrasound. Still not sure what is wrong with him. We are starting to wonder if it is psychosomatic……… and you wonder why I call him neurotic.
Mia is 10 months old now and since we got her in July I have been amazed to discover just how many new theories are out there on the right way to raise a puppy. From what to feed; raw, kibble or vegetarian, when, if and what to vaccinate, when to spay, rabies shot yes or no and how to train; clicker, treat, dog whispering. Last week I spend more time deciding on the right style & color of collar for her than I did buying a new blouse.
Somehow we are getting through the first year. I have a great vet clinic and her breeder to guide me and when all else fails I follow my instincts. She is loving and happy and I can live with the fact that getting her to sit or lie down on the first command well that is still a bit on and off.
They’re out there, lurking at reunions, springing up at cocktail parties, possibly in your own living room and the numbers are growing expeditiously every year, they are The Reminiscer.
While usually around 45 or older and quite normal in appearance, conversation can be limited and often leaves you craving a milkshake or something much stronger.
Here are the signs that you have encountered The Reminiscer.
1. When invited to a costume party they have to look no further than their closet for a poodle skirt or bell bottoms.
2. Sentences usually start with “Do you remember when………… or “When I was…………”
3. Their knowledge of music ended around 1968. Some haven’t read a newspaper since then either.
4. You mention last nights episode of Heroes and they come back with the highlights from the Doo Wop revival on PBS.
5. If they have a computer they use it to forward jokes or to email you that Fleetwood Mac is having a reunion tour.
6. On their coffee table is a copy of their high school year book and its’ not dusty.
While I can get as dewy eyed as the next midlifer when I hear the Righteous Bothers’ Unchained Melody I also happen to like Katy Perry’s, I Kissed a Girl. I think that I will keep my life balanced between Woodstock and Twitter, for me that is what makes life interesting.
I have watched just about every episode of ER for the last 15 years. It was on my short list of TV programs to be be enjoyed at the end of the day when I no longer want to be informed, enlightened or improved.
If you were expecting the finale to have a big event or a major theme running through it then you would have been disappointed but if you are a true follower you knew that was never what made ER a hit. It ended as it began with the medical staff waiting for the casualties of a disaster in this case a power plant explosion. Before we came to that early morning scene there were stories of the patients interwoven with the life events of familiar characters both past and present.
Anyhing more would have been a different show.
